Pure Heart, First Love
by SilverShadow123
Summary: It began with a chance meeting between two boys on that fateful day ten years ago and... things just sort of... escalated from there. Semi-AU. Not entirely serious.


_**AN: Yes, I am well I aware I should get going to updating my KHR fic… but many story ideas have accumulated in my head over the years I've been a fan and I can't just neglect them! If I do, I start including ideas not meant to be included in that specific fandom. Which is an insult to that fandom.**_

 **DISCLAIMER:** **I DO NOT OWN JUNJŌ ROMANTICA OR SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO NAKAMURA SHUNGIKU AND ALL APPLICABLE OWNERS OF THE ANIME/MANGA.**

* * *

 **PURE HEART, FIRST LOVE**

 **Nostalgia Arc**

 **Prologue: Something Different (happened that day)**

* * *

" _The two words 'information' and 'communication' are often used interchangeably, but they signify quite different things. Information is giving out; communication is getting through."_ ~ Sydney J. Harris

* * *

 _July 26, 2001  
11:08 a.m.  
Onodera Household, Tokyo Suburbs, Japan_

On the second floor of this house was the room of the only child of the current CEO of Onodera Publishing and the only grandchild of its President. Onodera Ritsu, a fifteen-year-old youth with brown hair and green eyes, lay curled up in his bed with his blankets covering his prone form. His mussed up hair suggested that he hadn't left the comfort of his mattress for days. His eyes, which were red and puffy, and his cheeks that sported multiple dried tear-tracks all showed that he had been crying on and off for those days. Right now, he simply stared blankly at a wall with a mild pounding in his head and a heavy feeling on his eyelids.

' _I feel sick…'_ He thought sullenly and an unbidden sentiment suddenly rose in his head, _'Yeah… lovesick.'_

Ritsu shot up straight in his bed in denial only to groan at the pounding in his brain intensifying. He ended up falling back to his bed on his back, more awake than he had been the last few days but at the same time feeling a deeply-seated exhaustion.

"Kaa-san and Tou-san must be worried…" The brunet muttered to himself, his voice somewhat croaky from disuse yet coherent. He turned to lie on his side, a frustrated and confused frown on his lips. _'Saga… -senpai…'_

He turned to lie on his back once more, restless. _'Three years… For three years, I pined after him, and then I finally got a chance to get to know him better.'_ His eyes felt like they were burning up as his vision blurred. _'Four months! How could you be with someone for four months, do all those… things,'_ his cheeks heated to a rosy red, _'and in the end only be using them for your entertainment?!'_

He raised an arm to cover his eyes. _'What am I thinking? Of course you can. There's a reason people say first loves never work out. I am_ such _an_ idiot _.'_

' _In the end, if I keep this up, the only one I'm fooling is myself. I put all my hopes and dreams in my first relationship, and look how that's left me.'_

He moved his arm to rest it on his forehead, revealing olive green eyes shining with an unidentifiable emotion. With cheeks painted a vibrant red and a dazed visage, the teen appeared feverish.

' _Still… no matter what, even if he only used me, I think I really… honestly and truly… still am in love with Saga-senpai..'_ Ritsu frowned and his brows furrowed as he slowly sat up. For the first time since he came home on _that_ day, he felt that he had finally shed all the tears he could for his first love. _'I don't want to feel this way anymore… and if I want to—no, I_ need _to—get… over… him, I have to stop being in love with him.'_ He made a face and gripped the bangs of his short hair tightly in frustration, _'First things first, though… how do you stop loving the guy you spent three years of your life stalking!?'_ He didn't like that he felt such things towards someone who used him, who played with his feelings the way the green-eyed boy might play with his violin.

He sat up straighter and surveyed his room, hoping to get some sort of solution to his dilemma. As he did, his desk caught his eye and on top of it was his Journal, which immediately captured his attention. It was open at the last entry, which was written with precise, if a bit shaky, characters. His chest twisted at the sight, vaguely recalling that after what happened he had run home in a daze and locked himself up in his room in order to vent to his Journal.

The young Onodera could only ambiguously remember writing it all down because his shock at the time instilled a sense of numb haziness to his actions. He was uncomfortable to note that the actual memory of _that_ day had gained a similarly fuzzy recollection. It seemed as though his mind spread the numbness to the event itself rather than remaining only in his memory of writing down the occurrence.

' _But I guess it's better that way…'_ He thought as he carefully slid out of his bed and padded across his room to his desk barefooted. Upon reaching his desk, he closed his Journal shut and it, in a way, signified to him that he was locking that day away in his mind. The mere thought of it was rather therapeutic and the young boy felt better almost instantly.

' _It hurts less… if I don't remember everything clearly…'_

Involuntarily, his hand reached up to his stomach. He only just realized how hungry he was and he couldn't even remember the last time he ate without being force fed, something that resulted in him adamantly not swallowing a single bite. _'Maybe I should go out to eat… A walk should help clear my head…'_ He glanced at his clock and saw that it was half-past eleven, almost noon.

' _Good, school's not out yet. It should be safe to head to the mall or something. Saga-senpai never did like crowded places…'_ He winced. _'There I go, thinking about him again. Get a hold of yourself!'_ Ritsu shook his head rapidly as if doing so would dislodge everything that had to do with Saga Masamune from his mind. He paused then, finally noticing something and sniffed himself.

With a face, he thought, _'I should probably take a bath first…'_

* * *

 _8:05 p.m._

Ritsu stared at the pouring rain from his spot at the bus stop he had taken shelter under. He reviewed the day in his mind, starting from when he finally decided to leave bed.

After taking the much-needed shower, he headed to the nearest mall and picked a random restaurant he was familiar with to eat in. He decided to walk around for a bit and before he knew it, it was already late afternoon. He had been so lost in thought, distracting himself with window shopping, that he barely even noticed the time pass.

It was around this time that he bumped into his childhood friend, Kohinata Ann, who had come to shop with her friends.

The brunet, at the present, brushed his bangs away from his eyes, lost in his recollections and realizations.

Ann had been really worried about him. It kind of made him feel guilty for putting her and his family in such a position but at the same time he felt as though he deserved a few off days, especially after his first breakup. Not that he'd ever tell anyone that he had a breakup, but he had a reason to be depressed and to him it was a good one, so as long as he had that it was enough to let him trim down his budding guilt. In response to his friend's concern he had claimed that he had just been shown some… unsettling facts, but that he had gotten over them, for the most part. They chatted for a bit on random things afterwards and he was surprised to note how… easy it was to talk without stuttering. He had gotten so used to a stutter coming out of his mouth since he spent a lot of time with… well, _him_.

Though he guessed that was to be expected with Ann. He never had any trouble talking with the blonde, even as children when his shyness was socially crippling.

He expected her to leave with her friends after they talked so he was pleasantly surprised when the other teen declined shopping with the group she came in with to spend time with him.

They had fun together. They played a few games at the mall's arcade, went to a couple of bookstores, shopped a bit (because, he insisted, that was what she originally came to the mall for), and Ritsu, for the first time in a while, felt as though he could rest easy once more. Ann, he privately thought, was truly one of his best friends. She helped him forget the current heartbreak he was feeling; distracted him from everything so he could breathe easier, even if it was just by a little bit.

It made him smile since she did all of that without even knowing what exactly upset him. So to show his appreciation for what she did for him, he invited her to dinner; his treat.

As friends. Nothing more.

So when the brunet dropped her off at her house just a few minutes ago, he had no idea how to react when she kissed him full on the mouth.

 _("I love you, Rit-chan!"_

 _Ritsu could feel his face heating up and he mentally bemoaned at the stutter that left his lips, "W-W-What?"_ 'And I was doing so well, too… but wait! Now isn't the time to think about things like that! Ann-chan just… she just…'

 _His childhood friend kept her eyes glued to the ground, red-faced with embarrassment. "I… I've been in love with you for a long time, Rit-chan…")_

He closed his green eyes tiredly as he ran a hand through his hair in agitation.

 _("So… So when you asked me out to dinner, I couldn't help but hope that—that maybe…" Her voice grew small, "you finally accepted me as your fiancée…")_

The rain pounded harshly on the roof of the bus stop, like hammers on hollow wood.

 _("F-Fiancée?! I don't remember asking you—!" He abruptly stopped, shock taking a firm foothold in his mind._

 _An looked surprised as well before becoming even more embarrassed. "I-I thought that Oba-san and Oji-san told you already, which was why you locked yourself up in your room—")_

' _Wrong,'_ Ritsu thought, his emotions somewhere between bitter and depressed along with a mild sense of betrayal. On the other hand, he also couldn't help but feel unsurprised. An engagement sounded something like his parents would do, especially since marriage and him taking over the company was all they've been talking about the past few weeks. _'I remember them wanting to talk to me when I came home from…_ his _… house, that day. I ignored them, though…'_

But to engage him to _Ann_ , of all people…

 _("—I thought that you just… needed time to re-think the relationship we have, get used to the idea…" She trailed off at seeing the look on the other's face. Her cheeks darkened in a blush. "Am I… wrong?"_

 _The brunet snapped out of it upon hearing the insecure tone in the girl's voice. He opened and closed his mouth but no sound came out._

"… _Sorry, Ann-chan," he finally murmured as he partly turned to walk away, "I just… need some space to think, right now…")_

Ritsu's emotions were whirling out of control. He couldn't think, couldn't comprehend just what in the world was going on with his life anymore. Too much was happening all at once and he just didn't seem to be able to wrap his head around this… mess at all.

"My life's turning into a mess," he muttered. Things had been so simple before that day three years ago.

" _I'm_ turning into a mess," he said to himself, almost frantically. The teen couldn't take much more of this. He could feel his stress levels mounting in tandem with the spikes of pain shooting through his skull. In an attempt to relieve the building tension within himself, he impulsively walked out into the rain, the harsh downpour a balm to his soul.

He walked through it briskly, almost running but not quite. He was uncaring of his destination, not minding that he was aimless. He simply took this journey to nowhere as a means to sort out his tumultuous thoughts, all the while needing to move to rid himself of his anxiety.

Somewhere above Ritsu, a stoplight flashed red.

The teen kept walking, unable to see anything through the deluge. Memories assaulted his already-straining mind, giving him a migraine he never felt before. The cool liquid splashing against his skull marginally helped but the force and frequency the drops hit him at only served to addle his brain further.

 _("I'm in love with you… Saga-senpai.")_

 _("I love you, Rit-chan!")_

 _("Hey. Why do you… love me so much?"_

" _Why…? Because you're… you.")_

 _("—couldn't help but hope that—that maybe… you finally accepted me as your fiancée…")_

 _("Senpai… do you… love me?")_

 _("Am I… wrong?")_

The brunet stopped walking. He tilted his head up, letting the cool rain land on his feverish face. His bangs stuck to his forehead in the same way his clothes clung to his body, like a second skin.

"Everything's just become one big mess," he mumbled to himself, tiredly, as he stood there in a daze. In retrospect, he thought that he should probably get out of the rain unless he wanted to catch a cold. With how hot he felt in spite of the shivers racking throughout his body, he could very well be on his way to having a fever, if he wasn't already there. There was also the fact that he could see white light cutting through his peripheral —

Ritsu blinked before his eyes widened as he realized where exactly he was. Panicking, he turned to face the light without thought.

Light travels faster than sound. So while the brunet was blinded by the sudden brightness, the car honked at him to move out of the way.

But he had already been spotted too late.

The driver jerked the wheel to one side, making his wife scream in surprise and the car swerved, managing to avoid a head-on collision. The hasty move, however, caused the tail-end of the vehicle to hit the teen right in the stomach instead. He choked in surprise as the breath was literally knocked out of him while simultaneously being flung away from the force of the unintentional hit, landing roughly on the pavement.

A little ways away, the car was put out of the driver's control, the maneuver it was forced into not meant to be done in the rain. The rubber wheels slipped on the slick ground. The car screeched as it flipped on its side. A resounding crash followed; glass broke and metal bent at the strength of the impact. Two bodies were left inside, barely saved by the air bag deploying, yet rapidly losing blood.

All this happened in less than a minute. What was once an empty stretch of road now had a broken car left in a ditch and a pubescent boy trembling in pain.

He didn't know how long he lay there, but eventually green eyes opened wide enough to blink away the moisture he hadn't even realized had gathered. The pain in his lower ribs finally numbed to a dull throb but was still painful enough that he was aware of it every time he moved. Never, in his entire life, did he imagine he would end up in a car accident…!

Ritsu's eyes widened. _'The car!'_ Gingerly, he forced his aching body to move and stand up. He convulsed terrible every time he tried but in the end managed to rise. To him, the pain in his body was nothing compared to the guilt eating away in his mind.

' _My fault… this is all my fault…_ Kami-sama _, I am such an idiot…'_

Torrents of water continued to fall, so much so that his tears became indistinguishable.

The car was a wreck, as expected, but still the teen trudged on despite the daunting scene. He could not leave anyone in something like that in good conscience, especially since he was responsible for the accident in the first place. And he loathed himself the most for that fact.

Every step he took was slow and small, sluggish and shaky. Eventually, though, he reached the nearest side of the car to where he was which turned out to be the passenger's side. He had seen someone on this side when he squinted through the rain.

Heaving in a large amount of air, he collapsed on his knees and weakly looked through the car window. The airbag had somehow deflated and the passenger was a woman who luckily had her seatbelt on but to his horror, glass from the broken windows had pierced various areas of her body, causing her to bleed out from all of them. It took all he had not to puke and then some just to swallow down the bile in his throat. It didn't help that the car had flipped over so she was upside down; she was attached to her seat only by a belt and crimson liquid dripping down to what was supposed to be the roof of the car. Making a decision, Ritsu partly crawled in through the window and unclipped the seatbelt, catching the woman from her inevitable fall. He winced at the sudden weight but was careful to bring her out. She was heavy and he was injured and winded but sheer stubbornness allowed him to bring her under the foliage of a nearby tree, the leaves blocking majority of the downpour.

As he was setting the woman down, not daring to jostle her too much in fear of aggravating her wounds, her eyes opened. They were green, like his, but a shade or two brighter than his own were and glazed with pain.

"Ta… ka… hiro…" She murmured, her eyes open but unseeing. "Mi… sa… ki…"

The brunet hadn't heard what she first murmured but caught the last one. His eyes widened. _'Oh, Kami-sama, was there a kid in the back seat?!'_ He scrambled up to his feet and rushed back to the wreck, adrenaline numbing his own pain even more.

Fortunately, there was no one in the back seat, so instead Ritsu focused on getting the man in the driver's seat out. The window there wasn't as broken in as the one in the other side so it was a tighter, and more dangerous, fit. Still, he squeezed himself in as carefully as he could and got the man out of his seat the same way he did with the woman. He choked as he used his body to cushion the man (who was most likely heavier than he was) and faintly felt something digging into his stomach. In the end, he simply bit his lip and proceeded to get the other to the tree he brought the woman to.

Done with his self-appointed task, he collapsed with his back against the trunk. His fatigue was getting to him and he had never had the greatest stamina, so his thoughts were more than a little jumbled.

The brunet had noticed the matching rings on the left ring fingers of the man and woman. They were married, then, and judging by the woman's words, they were parents as well.

' _This is bad,'_ he thought as he blinked heavily, hand crawling towards the pocket where he kept his phone. It was waterproof so even though it was rained on, it should still work. _'I need to call… an ambulance…'_

The teen got his phone and was about to call 1-1-9 when he saw his scarlet-coated fingers. Paling to an unhealthy degree, he looked down and saw a broken shard of glass piercing through his clothes and skin right smack in his lower ribs, dark red blood spreading out from the wound. He blinked slowly and with a detached sort of terror realized that he hadn't felt it breaking through his skin because he had been hit in his stomach in the initial collision with the car. Since then that area had become numb with pain, so what was a little more?

He choked back a sob but determinedly, if a bit shakily, dialed the emergency hotline number and brought the phone to his ear. He wasted no time upon hearing someone pick up, yelling out "Car accident!" hoarsely and after shortly thinking about it, he added the road he believed they were. "There are… three of us," he breathed heavily, idly thinking that blood loss was probably making him slur his words, "and we're all… injured…"

 _"Understood, sir. Please hang on for a bit. Ambulances have been dispatched and are on their way to your location. The police have also been alerted."_

Ritsu was quickly losing consciousness. He was being relieved of the tension in his body because of the reassuring tones of the operator. He only managed to say a desperate plea before blacking out.

"Come quickly… please…"

He closed his eyes, the last thing he saw being the man and woman beside him, and to his fatigued mind they looked, by all means, as if they were only sleeping.


End file.
